I Am Not A Crook! I Just Need My Hair Spray

It’s amazing what you can get used to, and what you can’t live without.

 Recently I took a trip to North Carolina for a meeting at Earth Fare Markets.  As I was going through the always chaotic security line at Philly International Airport, I got singled out to go through the x-ray machine.  “Hands above your head…elbows back further…feet wider apart,” were the commands barked at me while others in the crowd stared as if I were a criminal accused of some heinous crime.  I’m all for airport safety, but I was wearing a t-shirt, yoga pants and I was barefoot (shoes going through the scanner); what weapons could I possibly conceal?  My back had been hurting, but before I could ask for print outs of that x-ray for possible diagnosis, I was pulled off to the side to have my luggage rummaged through.  I’m weird – I hate people touching my stuff.  It freaks me out.  But the TSA worker didn’t have to rifle through much before she found my Honeybee Gardens Hair Spray.  Damn.  I forgot to put some hair spray into a smaller bottle so it would meet airport requirements. 

 “I have to confiscate this,” the worker told me. 

“But I really NEED my hair spray….do you know what my hair will look like if I don’t have it?” I pleaded.  I’m sure she’s heard much more compelling arguments by people who wanted to keep their banned liquid items.

“I’m sorry,” she replied, and walked off.  I don’t think she was truly sorry.  Or maybe she was.  But she probably has to go through similar situations every 15 minutes because of people like me who forget the new rules, so she’s immune to our pleas.  And I wonder what happens to all those confiscated products?  It would be a shame if they were simply thrown away.  But I digress…

 I finally made it to my hotel around 10:00 p.m.   I asked the front desk clerk where I might be able to purchase hair spray nearby.  She informed me that all stores were closed, but they had amenity-sized bottles of hair spray in their gift shop.  What luck.  I purchased the one single dusty bottle on the shelf, ambled up to my room and fell asleep. 

 Getting ready for my meeting the next morning, I remembered the hair spray still in my work bag.  Now I LOVE our Honeybee hair spray.  It’s all I use, and have used for years because it’s really the only one that works so well on my rats-nest hair.  I dried my hair, and grabbed the drugstore brand hair spray to hopefully hold my hair in place.  With the first spray, I was overwhelmed by the scent.  I can’t even describe it, really.  It wasn’t floral.  It wasn’t citrus.  It was just an obnoxious chemical fragrance.  And STRONG.  I sprayed again.  It wasn’t working.  My hair fell limp.  After several more sprays (as I held my breath), I finally gave up.  It was windy outside anyway.  I could use that as an excuse for my bad hair (I always have some excuse…my hair stylist is blind, the cat slept on my head, birds attacked me on my way into work….) 

 All morning and into the afternoon, I could smell my hair.  I began to push it back, wishing I had a ponytail holder with me.  By the plane ride home that evening, I became nauseous.  Actually sick in the stomach.  I finally got home, made myself some peppermint tea and washed my hair.  I was shocked that the scent could last THAT long.  What was in this stuff??  I texted my co-worker Katy, asking her to put a bottle of hair spray on my desk, so I could have it when I got into work.  Some products I can substitute if I have to.  My Honeybee hair spray just isn’t one of them!

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